Tora_Chan (t0ra_chan) wrote,

Love songs by psychos...

... or "Do people ever listen to the lyrics?". This is something I've been wanting to do for a while now. This song has been on the radio pretty much every single day for weeks now and every time I hear it, it bothers me more and more. Not just because the music is bland as hell (I really don't understand how it made the top ten of the single charts), but because the lyrics are truly disturbing. I know people here in Germany probably don't understand most of the lyrics, but if they do, do they get how creepy the lyrics are? Or do they honestly think this is romantic? Anyway, let's go through them, shall we?

I wish you smelled a little funny
Not just funny really bad
We could roam the streets forever
Just like cats but we’d never stray

Okay, weird and nonsensical, but nothing disturbing yet. Though I don't get how smelling bad and being (or not being) like stray cats is linked.

I sometimes wish you were a mermaid
I could raise you in the tub at home
We could take a swim together
On weekly day trips to the bay

Okay, now we get or first hint of the crazy by having the singer express his wish to keep his object of affection at home except for weekly trips. And of course as a mermaid the love interest would be incapable of walking away. But, it's all still fantasy since there are no things as mermaids in real life.

Oh you and me
It would be only you and me
Oh you and me
It would be only you and me

Just the chorus, let's move on.

I wish you were a little bigger
Not just big but really fat
Doors you would no longer fit through
In my bed you would have to stay

Aaaaand we've reached crazy town. Population: one bland singer. Seriously, apart from the fact that people called feeders actually exist, there is also again the imagery of trapping the object of affection, this time coupled with a sexual component by referencing the bed.

I often wish that you had feathers
I’d keep you in a giant cage
All day long I’d sit and watch you
I’d sing for you and that would be okay

No, it would not be okay, Milow, not at all. Again, here's flat out trapping the other person, dressed up with some fantasy non-sense.

People say there are plenty of fish
In the sea, baby, all I do is wish

blah, blah blah, boring, moving on.

I wish you were a little slower
Not just slow but paralyzed
Then I could plug you into a socket
So you could never run away

Aaaaaaahhhhhh! Really, people, who comes up with this stuff? "I love you so much that I never want you to be able to move again and be completely at my mercy." This is less romance and more comic book villain behavior.

I really wish that you were smaller
Not just small but really really short
So I could put you in my pocket
And carry you around all day

Yeah, like a piece of jewelry, my precioussssss.

Brr, this song makes me feel unclean, I can't imagine what it would feel like to be person this song would be addressed to. The whole song only expresses the desire to trap someone so that they can never ever leave, but it never even addresses why that person is so special. They are just a thing, something to possess. In conclusion, the person who wrote this is nuts and whoever thinks that this is romantic, needs to get their head checked.

You can watch the music video here.
Tags: essay, music, rants, review
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